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But every time she even hints about a long-term future together, I feel cold and sick to my heart. At the heart of all fear is the dread that something might be lost.

So someone who has trouble committing may fear losing options.

If he doesn’t, well then maybe he’s not that into you.

Reader question (cont’d): What is your stance on dating websites?

Ever since I can remember, I have had this preoccupation with freedom.

I saw myself with no possessions covered in dirt in Africa somewhere, or traveling somewhere far away with nothing but a bag and a little bit of food.

It's hard for a guy to commit to one woman if he's got others on his mind—imagine trying to commit if you had a couple of guys on your mind.

Commitment is a sign of maturity, and some guys are simply too immature to commit, especially in their twenties.

Many CP's have a history of flings and short relationship's yet always make out it is the ex's fault they split. CPs dislike being busted and become self- righteous, defiant and reactive when their selfish behaviour is flagged up.

Many fantasise about what they want the relationship to be and live in 'constant hope' rather than getting real about what's in front of them. They will NEVER meet your needs and many try to fix or heal a CP. Never allow a CP to point the finger of blame at you and cause you havoc, confusion, pain and heartache.

Fear of commitment might range from a little uncertainty about your relationship to an absolute terror of 'settling down'.

Take Nigel, for instance:"It's not that I don't love her, because I do! In this piece, I want to explore exactly what fear of commitment is, why it might have arisen, and, vitally, how to overcome it.




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